nothing else matters

i have always loved this song...who doesn't?
music ... is ... life



So close, no matter how farCouldn't be much more from the heartForever trusting who we areAnd nothing else matters
I never opened myself this wayLife is ours, we live it our wayAll these words I don't just sayAnd nothing else matters
Yeah, trust I seek and I find in youEvery day for us something newOpen mind for a different viewAnd nothing else matters
Never cared for what they doNever cared for what they knowAnd I know
So close, no matter how farCouldn't be much more from the heartForever trusting who we areAnd nothing else matters
Never cared for what they doNever cared for what they knowAnd I know, that's right
Never opened myself this wayAnd life is ours, we live it our wayAll these words I don't just sayAnd nothing else matters, yeah
Trust I seek and I find in youEvery day for us something newOpen mind for a different viewAnd nothing else matters
Never cared for things they sayNever cared for games they playI never cared for what they doI never cared for what they know

long-term relationship

i've been with my boyfriend for six years and we've lived together for 5.5 years, we moved in just 3 months after we met in college. it's been a very bumpy road, i've tried and he's wanted me to move out more times than I remember, but it never worked, probably because of lease agreements, jobs, and life commitments. so we've stuck it out and things have been really good since moving to San Francisco. there's so many exciting things to do here it's much easier not to complain about each other. But last night I didn't feel like going out and doing anything. all work weeks are exhausting and I usually want to collapse when Friday is over. I'm also going on a hike today and didn't want it to be struggle to wake up in the morning, like it always if I drink too much or stay out. So, this made him so angry, because he's living with a "grandma" "who never wants to do anything". That's how fights start with him, one thing like that will cause an onslaught of negative comments about me and him not wanting to be with me anymore. He doesn't enjoy me anymore and doesn't want to be with me in the long-term. I'm a rat, with no one that likes me or cares about me, boring, un-interesting. the list goes on. Last night really hurt, because lately I've been feeling comfortable with myself and my life, and excited for a future with him. When you don't feel "safe", mentally, in your home life, it makes me question myself, my life, and brings back all of my insecurities. Last night brought back all the feelings from past fights with him and reminded me how miserable I used to be. It's a sad feeling when the number one person in your life will say so many hurtful things about you. just earlier this week we were talking about where to buy a house, wanting babies, but not wanting to get married. since moving to SF I hadn't questioned our relationship like I used to, but he's so unhappy with me. sometimes I really feel like we are on such different levels...connecting doesn't even feel possible. fights like this always bring me back down to "reality".

reinventing your exit

old highschool songs make for good work out music ;)